Rila, Narima, Sabar: Three Kejawen Attitudes for Living Well

Within Kejawen teaching, there are three life attitudes often described as the main foundation for living calmly, namely rila, narima, and sabar. All three sound simple, but when truly understood and applied, they can have a significant impact on how a person faces life.

Understanding the Meaning of Rila

Rila means sincere acceptance, the attitude of letting something go without holding on to excessive disappointment or resentment. In Kejawen, rila does not mean giving up without effort, but rather the ability to accept the outcome of one's efforts, whether it turns out as hoped or not, without endlessly blaming oneself or the circumstances.

Understanding the Meaning of Narima

Narima means acceptance, particularly accepting the reality of life as it is. This attitude teaches a person not to constantly compare themselves to others, and instead focus on being grateful for what they already have. Narima does not mean one cannot have desires or ambitions, but rather an attitude of not dwelling in disappointment when things do not go according to plan.

Understanding the Meaning of Sabar

Sabar means the ability to control oneself, especially when facing difficult situations or negative emotions. In Kejawen, sabar is considered a key element in maintaining life's balance, since a patient person tends to make wiser decisions and is less easily provoked into actions that could harm themselves or others.

How These Three Values Connect With Each Other

Rila, narima, and sabar actually complement one another. Rila helps a person let go of what can no longer be changed, narima helps accept reality with an open heart, while sabar helps maintain a calm attitude throughout the process of facing life's challenges. Together, they create a strong mental foundation for living without being overly burdened by excessive expectations.

Relevance in Modern Life

Amid the fast paced and competitive pressures of modern life, these three values feel increasingly relevant as a reminder not to be too hard on oneself. Practicing rila, narima, and sabar can help a person maintain mental wellbeing, without having to stop trying or losing the drive to grow.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does rila mean in Kejawen teaching?

Rila means sincere acceptance, the attitude of letting something go without holding on to excessive disappointment or resentment over the outcome.

What does narima mean in Kejawen teaching?

Narima means accepting the reality of life as it is, while staying focused on gratitude for what one already has instead of constantly comparing oneself to others.

What does sabar mean in the context of Kejawen?

Sabar means the ability to control oneself, especially when facing difficult situations, in order to make decisions wisely.

Does rila mean giving up without trying?

No. Rila is more about accepting the outcome of one's efforts, not about giving up from the start.

Does narima mean one should not have any ambitions?

No. Narima still allows a person to have desires and ambitions, it simply means not dwelling in disappointment when things do not go as planned.

How can someone practice sabar in daily life?

It can start by developing the habit of pausing before reacting to a difficult situation, and training oneself not to rush into decisions while emotions are running high.

Do these three values only apply to followers of Kejawen?

No. Although they come from Kejawen teaching, the values of rila, narima, and sabar are universal and can be applied by anyone regardless of their belief background.

How are rila, narima, and sabar connected to mental health?

These three values can help a person manage stress and disappointment more effectively, contributing positively to overall mental wellbeing.

Do rila, narima, and sabar contradict the spirit of striving hard?

No. In fact, they support the spirit of striving, since they help a person stay calm and focused even while facing failure or significant challenges.

How can these values be taught to younger generations?

It can start by modeling them in everyday behavior, and explaining the meaning of these three values through stories or life experiences relevant to what young people face today.

Are there other terms in Kejawen related to these three values?

Yes, for example eling lan waspada, which also emphasizes self awareness and emotional control, aligning closely with the spirit of rila, narima, and sabar.

Does practicing narima mean one should never complain?

No. Narima emphasizes accepting reality without dwelling in prolonged disappointment, it does not forbid a person from expressing their feelings.

Can rila, narima, and sabar be applied in the workplace?

Yes. These three values can help a person face work pressure, failed projects, or conflicts with colleagues in a more mature and composed way.

Is there a risk of practicing sabar too much?

Excessive patience without balance can make a person reluctant to speak up or take action when it is genuinely needed, so it should be applied proportionately.

How can someone start applying rila, narima, and sabar in daily life?

It can start with small steps, such as practicing daily gratitude, accepting failure as part of the process, and getting into the habit of thinking calmly before acting.